Love Lost.

When you date someone for a long period of time, you find that you have become accustomed to the lifestyle. You become so accustomed that you rather be miserable and together, then alone. That was my problem. To look at it from my angle now, it's sad and pathetic..but when you're in that situation..it's almost natural. You don't want to hear any different because you think your life is over because your not with that person anymore. It's not over... in fact, it's just the beginning of something great, something better. There is a reason why the last guy didn't work out. It wasn't meant to be because if he really loved you.. like you know or think you love him.. he'd never let you go. And he did. So what to do?

#1...Call all of your friends. It is important that you didn't screw up friendships during your relationship (which is easy to do esp. if your with the bf all the time). If you did- try sending a "I'm sorry" card and when you get into your next relationship..remember NOT to do it again. If you didn't.. call all the girls and guys that have been there..text or IM ones who haven't... and see what they are up to. Talk, talk, vent, scream, argue. They will all tell you.. "It's not you..it's him."
#2...Cry. The first thing I did, is think about all the good times we had..(although outweighed by the bad) and cry, scream, and be sad over them. Then realize..that wow..look at the bad crap he did. Remember when he forgot to call? Remember when he would never go on a vacation? Moving in before marriage is a no for him? Think of everything that SUCKED... because in every relationship..you'll find it. That will make you feel all the better.
#3...Get closure or as much as you can salvage. I got my fair share of "cut-offs" and trust me, they are the worst. Try your best to find out why the relationship ended-especially if you think you did nothing wrong. Was it because of the constant fighting? Are you too immature to handle something so serious right now? Have you fallen for someone else? Despite the answer, be prepared to control you reaction. Most guys won't be honest with this. However, let them say what they have to say and you'll find out later why. It is just important to get as much as you can..and fill in the rest with answers that make you feel better. This will help you move on...until that is you see that is now in a relationship with someone else on Facebook. Then you just laugh it out and move the hell on. Because you know they are not as attractive as you anyway so you should feel good to still keep the title of "Their Prettiest Girlfriend."
#4...Keep busy. It's so easy to stay in bed, with a million used tissues, having a friend translate your conversation because she can't understand through the yelps and cries. This isn't good for more than a day or two. Dress up to kill in your highest heels (because face it girl, you want a guy taller than you. What is with Katie Holmes anyway?) and talk to people. Be outgoing and friendly and don't be afraid to be aggressive..just make sure he isn't someone's boyfriend..or husband for that matter.
#5...Find a cute guy and start talking. It's the best way to get yourself over the loser that just broke up with you. Kiss him, hold hands, cuddle..but don't have sex. Having sex will just make matter worse for you.. even if it is like a month at this point after the breakup. It's time for YOU..not him. You're still vurenable and this new guy knows it, even though he looks so good compared to your ex. Remember that he might have sex and then forget you.. It's not you're boyfriend..it's just a guy you're talking to. It is important to remember that because it's so easy to feel comfortable with the "new guy" that you forget that you don't really know much about him. You can't trust yet.
#6...Determine yourself. Now's your time to build yourself up. You have just experienced something really devasting and building yourself back up will only make you a much stronger person. If you wanted to move, move. If you always wondered what it would be like to go pick up guys at the bar, do it. Do whatever you want and you have NO one to answer to.
#7...Don't get out of control. It's easy to become summersed into the life of partying, alcohol and random men. However, it's not smart. Don't change who you are and don't get out of control. One of my friends from high school did this and got into a fatal car crash.
#8...Smile. I know I controlled myself to have this "bitch" look at the bars. This way I didn't have to deal with the fact of arguing with my boyfriend because a sleeze just hit on me. Become more approachable.
#9...Make a standards list. What did you hate about your ex and what did you love? For the next potential, run through these questions in your mind or even to him. Get to know him first. If he doesn't fit this criteria..tell yourself.. he could be your friend and nothing more. Move on.
#10...Don't get into a realtionship for at least a few months after. Even if he is getting tagged in smooching pictures with some whore, don't lower yourself. It's very hard..but good things come to those who wait. I'm not saying don't search.. but don't settle.